Disclaimer: This article is written in complete jest as a result of an overactive imagination.
Alleged Home of the Accused bunny napper.
Newport Beach, CA (AP) — A startling discovery was made on Balboa Island today as the bodies of multiple Easter Bunnies were seen decorating the house of a local resident.
Investigators were seen canvasing the property looking for evidence in the disappearance of Easter Bunnies that has been going on for quite some time. When asked for details, department spokesperson Detective Peter Cottontail said, “The fuzz was hot on the tail of this vermin. We knew this killer was hopping all over the island. It was only a matter of time before we caught up.”
Concerns did not start to arise until multiple children in the area complained of getting toothpaste and floss in their Easter baskets. The normal fair of candy, jelly beans and the occasional video game were greatly lacking from this festive season.
A phone call was made at 8:31 AM this morning when island visitor Brer Fox was walking by the residence on his routine walk to Starbucks when he saw the house in question. After conferring with other locals on the lack of sweets and appropriate presents in their Easter baskets, he knew it was time to make the call. “I don’t like rabbits, you can ask anyone,” said Brer Fox. “But this is just wrong. The way this person displayed these rabbits out here like trophies, they have a problem. Look, that one doesn’t event have any legs, disgusting.”
Brer Fox, on vacation with his friend Brer Bear, is one of the first people to come forward with information on this case.
The dock leading up to the house
Hints that this case may date back all the way to 1983 are evident by the range and scope of the rabbits on display. Authorities are not quick to state that this is the mark of a serial Easter Rabbit killer, but this reporter can see quite a herd of Easter Rabbits on display.
By the end of the day, Detective Cottontail concluded that most of these rabbits were stuffed and the result of many years of collecting rabbits by a sweet old lady. “Still,” he stated, “It’s pretty weird to have this many rabbits on display in front of your house. We will keep an eye on this disturbing situation.”
Soeth reported from Newport Beach, Ca. Associated Press wife Liz Soeth also contributed from her chair.
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